A Tale of Two Mornings: How to Know When It's Time to Make a Change

Are you thinking about switching things up in your life? Thinking about leaving your job but not sure if you really should? I've been there. Looking back, it seems ridiculous. Of course leaving my job was the right thing to do! There were so many signs! But when you're in the thick of it, that can be hard to see. Let me tell you a tale of two mornings.

Morning 1: I'm waking up to go to my student teaching placement, which I loved

• My alarm goes off, I hit snooze once
• I get up and pick out an outfit from my closet
• I brush my teeth, do my hair and makeup
• I eat a good breakfast to keep me full
• I pack my lunch and a snack - this always includes fresh fruit
• I make sure I have everything I need before I leave the house
• I drive about 15 minutes to school, listening to upbeat music on the way
• I arrive 30 minutes before the kids, often a few minutes before my cooperating teacher


Morning 2: I'm waking up to go to my job teaching sixth-grade, which I hated

• My alarm goes off, I hit snooze at least four times
• I try to find clean clothes, probably off the floor, because I haven't done laundry in two weeks
• I brush my teeth (about 85% of the time)
• I grab something for lunch, who knows when I went to the store last, I often end up with something like crackers and a granola bar - not a real lunch
• I grab my bag with a month of grading in it that I didn't touch the night before, if I did happen to take something out of the bag it's almost definitely not making it back to work with me today
• I get in the car to drive an hour, I listen to talk radio or to a podcast because without someone "talking to me" I will get so lonely and sad that I will cry all the way to work
• Cry all the way to work about 25% of the time anyway
• I get to work 5-10 minutes before the kids, eat some dry cereal, and put on mascara and eyebrows at my desk

DUH there we so many signs!!!

I stopped doing basic chores at home (laundry, grocery shopping, dishes)
I stopped taking care of myself (I am NOT the kind of person who skips brushing my teeth!)
I cried at the drop of a hat
I didn't care about being on time
I was exhausted constantly - the bags under my eyes had bags under their eyes

I literally turned to my husband the other day and said, "remember how much I cried last year?" I am not a crier! But literally anything could set me off back then. Any. Thing.

I had a friend (who I don't see that often) tell me that I look much happier and healthier now. That bad job took a serious physical toll on me.

The most shocking part of all this? I had moments (like, a lot of them) when I had myself convinced that I should stay for one more year. That's crazy! Luckily I had my husband to knock some sense into me (not literally).

Ok, so here's the takeaway from all this. If you're maybe sometimes thinking about leaving your job but aren't sure if you should, take a step back. What do your mornings look like? Your evenings? Your weekends? Do you recognize yourself? Don't ignore the signs.


Follow me on twitter @PostCollegeMess
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Live Your Best Life: My Mantra

I've recently started going to a free weekly yoga class at a local park. The instructor is different each week, but they usually have us start class by thinking of our intention, our "why" for being there. Your intention is something that you can focus on when things get hard. The first time I went to this class, I started thinking. What is my intention? Why am I here? And what I came up with has really stuck with me: I was there because I wanted to be living my best life. So I set my intention - I am living my best life.

Since that first aha moment, this has become more than just an intention for a yoga class. This has become my life mantra. Every time I am faced with a decision, or questioning a decision I've made, or feeling pressure to do what other people expect or want me to do, I ask myself one simple question: is this going to help me live my best life?

When I felt like I should keep interviewing for teaching jobs and take the first one handed to me, hoping it would be better than last year, I asked myself: would that help me live my best life? NO.

When I was considering whether to sign up for a volunteer opportunity I was (and still am) nervous about, I asked myself: would that help me live my best life? YES!

It might sound a little silly. And I'll admit, at first it felt a little silly too. But it really works! Since I started asking myself this simple question I've exercised more, eaten healthier, been happier and more confident in my decisions, and as I keep mentioning, I've become inspired.

If I'm having a moment of doubt or anxiety (as I often do) I simply repeat to myself "I am living my best life." It's amazing how much better it makes me feel.

Even if mantras aren't really your thing (trust me - they weren't mine!) I urge you to give it a try. Even for one day. If you hate it, you never have to do it again. But hey, it might just give your life a little boost. It sure has given mine one.


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Podcasts to Help You Get Through Your Post College Mess

I mentioned in my last blog post that I'm feeling really inspired right now. This is nothing short of a miracle because, let’s recap:

I had an absolutely horrible first year after college
I quit my first and only post-grad job without a real plan
I realized that I don't actually want to use my college degree
I'm going back to doing the same job I was doing in college

Let's just say, it took a lot of work to get to feeling inspired rather than just feeling crushed under the weight of my own failure (I'm not sure if that line makes the blog relatable or just depressing. Maybe both?).

One of the things that helped me out was listening to these podcasts.

1. Side Hustle School

Sidehustleschool.com

As the name implies, this podcast is all about starting a side hustle. It's unique because the episodes are under 10 minutes and he puts out a new episode every day. Each episode tells the story of someone who started their own side hustle. I love this podcast because when I decided to stop pursuing getting another teaching job, my job options seemed a little...bleak. Boring. Unexciting. Side Hustle School helped inspire me to get a job as a substitute teacher so that I have time to pursue things that actually do excite and inspire me. Side Hustle School might inspire you to start your own side hustle!

2. Happier with Gretchen Ruben

Gretchenrubin.com/podcast

Gretchen Rubin is the author of two books that I love - The Happiness Project and Better Than Before. This podcast discusses happiness and how to boost your own happiness and it's really the podcast that sort of gave me permission to stop pursuing a teaching job. It helped me realize that happiness is important and it's worth fighting for, and that sometimes what other people think should make you happy, just doesn't. Maybe it will inspire you to make a career change or maybe it will just help you balance work and life a little bit more effectively. Either way, it's a win.

3. Millennial Money

Yourmillennialmoney.com

This is one of many resources I've consulted over the last year of getting my financial shit together (blog post on that to come), but something about knowing that I can manage the money that I do have has really helped me to be ok with the idea of making less money for a year or two while I figure my life out. This has been incredibly freeing. If you want to get your post college financial shit together too, this is a pretty good place to start.

Follow me on twitter @PostCollegeMess

Life Since College

Hello, Internet! Welcome to Post College Mess. As you can see in my bio, I'm twenty-five years old and my life is a bit of a mess right now. Not that I'm unhappy, mind you. Just a mess. Let me catch you up.

I graduated from college in May of 2016 at 24. Now that I have some distance on this, I have no problem with that at all, but at the time I felt like I was already behind. I felt guilty and a bit ashamed that I hadn't graduated at a fresh, young 22, ready to take on the world. Now, though, I realize that tons of people don't graduate at 22, and to be honest, I was not ready to be thrown out into the real world at 22. Not at all.

I graduated with a degree in elementary education. I wanted to be a teacher so much. I was just sure that it was my calling (eye roll). Getting a teaching job fresh out of college isn't exactly a breeze, though. I went to fifteen interviews before I landed a job. Here's the thing about this job - it was in a title one school, in an extremely rough neighborhood, an hour away from me. And to clarify, I live in a big city, so I was driving an hour to a smaller neighboring city to work in this extremely tough school. Oh, and here's the kicker, I taught sixth-grade. I never wanted to teach sixth-grade. Ever. It was hard (that feels like the understatement of the century). 

This began what has been by far the worst year of my life so far. For the whole year I could never really relax. I dreaded going to work. I cried all the time, pretty much anything would set me off. My house was constantly a mess, I was constantly cranky and exhausted, and I was so rude to my fiance (now husband). I really don't know how he put up with me. So when spring came and I mentioned quitting, he was fully on my team.

SO I QUIT MY JOB.

I didn't have another job lined up. I didn't have a particular plan, except that I was going to get another teaching job. Of course I was. And I went to a lot of interviews. Probably 10 or 12. And somewhere along the way, I stopped wanting to get another teaching job. I felt extremely guilty about this and tried to tell myself I was being silly. No other teaching job would be as bad as the one I had just left. I've wanted to be a teacher for so long! It's my dream! My calling! But eventually just the thought of getting another teaching job nearly sent me into a panic attack, so I resolved not to think about it for a while.

Guess what else I was doing during this extremely stressful worst year of my life? Planning a freaking wedding. Because I'm crazy. So in May of 2017, I got married to the best man in the world. And then we took a honeymoon to Canada. And then three days after we got back we moved across the city. So by the time that was all over I felt pretty... lost.

Now I've had a few weeks to think about things and instead of feeling lost I'm actually feeling inspired. I have a fresh start. I can do whatever I want. I can spend a whole year just finding out what makes me happy.

But what about money?!?

Oh yeah. I decided to be a substitute teacher this year. I subbed all through college and although it's less lucrative than teaching (you know, the big bucks) it's also wayyyy less stressful. And less time consuming. And I can work closer to home. The benefits go on. And while I'm doing this, I plan to explore the idea of having a side hustle or two. My first side hustle? This blog.

Stay tuned!